February 9, 2015

hide out

Just recently I wrote about the need for friends. I commented how awesome it would be if I could stay in every weekend night and have quality time with the husband. If I had two choices I'd always lean towards that one. But marriage is teaching me that spending every wakening moment with each other isn't reality nor helpful.

Our apartment is small. Like we can hear each other from every room, small. I am not complaining. This way my husband can't hide from me. Sometimes though we need to hide. Which is why I believe finding your own activity and hiding out is important in a healthy marriage.

For example: blogging. This blog is my time. My husband and I had a conversation before I started out on the blog's revamp. From that conversation we set boundaries on topics I could discuss and set up specific times to work on the blog. Granted I work on it outside of those times. But, we felt it was important to be specific so each one of us has an hour to do something we love but the other may not enjoy. I blog. He games.

We need to hide because I believe it's good for the self-less love. I know that if I continually work to please my husband I will tire myself. I will no longer have the strength to make him happy because I haven't invested in myself. I don't think I can take care of him if I am a mess. Hiding out provides a time for myself to think, reevaluate, and clear my head. Believe it or not, this blog often acts as my journal. I write what I am thinking and it helps me better understand those thoughts.

Maybe this isn't the most groundbreaking information you've ever heard. But I hope it serves as a reminder to a young couple that doing things for yourself is okay. In fact, it's good for your relationship. Take it from me, the girl who pushed to do EVERYTHING with her husband and had it backfire in her face.

Take time today to plan out your hide out time. Talk it over with your significant other and encourage him to do the same. I hope you will see a difference in yourself and in your relationship.

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