August 12, 2014

Thirteen days later

I've always done my best to be honest on this blog. I figured there is enough blogs, pictures, and selfies on the website creating a fake world of "I'm incredibly happy but that's because you don't see the mess outside of the internet."

I wouldn't miss a beat if someone asked if I were happy. Because I am. But, if someone were to ask how the first 13 days of the move have been. Well, here's how I would answer.

It's been hard. It's been amazing. It's been full of questions. It's been a joy living with my favorite person ever. With the exception of the past four days, I've been unemployed. If you know anything about my personality, you know how hard it is for me to not do anything. Waking up everyday without a purpose is one of my biggest pet peeves. I feel useless with no to-do list to guide me. It's at that point all my self-doubts, insecurities, and thoughts that are absolutely not true become believable.  All of those things are highlighted the moment my mind doesn't have something to focus on. I realize this is a big weakness. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a relaxing day off, but if it's earned. 13 days of trying to make myself busy gets old quick. It's a bit harder to justify watching TV for an hour if you haven't done anything all day.

Thankfully, I've had moments of true enjoyment. For example, cooking for my husband. Being able to serve him, practice my cooking skills, and make my mind busy has been a great way to overcome this weakness. I am also very grateful for the answered prayers. I've been blessed with two part-time jobs!

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