May 11, 2013

Relationships. If I had to describe my year in one word I would choose that R word.

I have learned a whole lot about relationships this year. A lot of good, a lot of bad, a lot of what works and what doesn't. It started at the beginning- trying to figure out what relationships truly lasted while I was gone in Ecuador and is wrapping up by finding out how a new one works.

There is a lot in between the beginning and end including having my friend call me out on some mistakes to drifting apart from others. I don't always think that is a bad thing. I think some people are in our lives according to the seasons we find ourselves in.

I do know that no matter what my my friendship status is all relationships include work. Work to make them work, work to make them end easily, work to mend, work to start, work to deepen.  It can get tiring after a while, especially when the work isn't returned or appreciated. But, that is when the most self reflection has happened. That is when I have to decide if the work is worth it. The majority of the time I always land on yes- it is worth it. Sometimes I haven't and leaves me with a weird feeling. But, working for others, to feel loved, at home, valued, to gain laughs, release emotions, and discover life together is something I need. As independent as I like to be, I have been realizing how much I need others to enjoy life with.

So: to the friends that I may have let down this year, to the friends that I may have offended, ticked off, or annoyed. To the friends that I've been a decent friend to. And to the new friends in my life. Thanks for working with me this year. I know I am not always the best at maintaining relationships, but I hope you know that I am always thinking about how to become better at the whole R thing.

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