January 23, 2012

A whole lot of thinking

This past month has been a good but tough one. After the excitement of moving back home had worn off, and the holidays had passed it was up to me to keep myself busy. I decided against interim, so I had an extra long Christmas break. Then an even longer break because I don't leave for Ecuador until tomorrow. So I have been in Arizona for over a month. I have realized more and more that I need an every day goal. Something that I can check of the list, or something that I can get approval from. Pretty much, I need something that makes me feel accomplished. My friend and I sometimes look down at our achievement qualities. I have defiantly been looking down on that quality lately.

A lot of thinking has been going on in my head. And if you know me well, thinking a lot isn't a good thing for my well being. Lately, I have been questioning God and his plan. His plan to end a relationship. His plan to send me to Ecuador. I question whether being a wife and raising a family will ever be in that plan. I have questioned God so much, that I just don't want to question anymore. I'm getting to the point that I want to just understand him now. Which is a good thing. However, it is very hard for me to still trust in God's plan.

Going into this semester my hope is that God will reveal his plan to me. But not only that I pray that I will learn to trust in that plan, and completely give up my plans. Going to Ecuador I hope that God will reveal what he wants me to do with a degree. I'm not completely sold on the Communication Arts thing. If somehow I can work with kids then I would be all in. So I hope when I'm in Ecuador I can find something I'm truly passionate about. Also, going into this semester I look forward to forming new friendships, rebuilding another, and working on myself.

I already miss my friends at Trinity and JBU, but I hope that everyone has a great semester. Just think January is almost over and I haven't started yet. Your so far ahead! I will be flying to Chicago May 10. Then I will be flying home May 13. So I will see you then. Thank you for all your prayers.

Keep in touch.

1 comment:

  1. Hey girl! Just letting you know that you're in my prayers. I'm so glad to see that you arrived in Ecuador safely! You are going to have the time of your life - I just know it :)
    love, Ellie