What I've Learned

A couple weeks ago I found myself in a weird time of my life. I just wanted everything different then what it was. I wanted to be at a different school, I wanted a different major, I wanted to be at home, I wanted to sleep a lot, and I wanted to fix it all on my own.

Now, about 10 or 12 miles (that is miles I've ran) later, I have realized how doubtful I was being. I doubted God of his will, his reasons of why I am at Trinity, and pretty much everything that was going on in my life- I doubted. I think one day while I was running I realized how bad I was doing with trusting God. Abby and I went on a run through the forest preserves. For me running is how i clear my mind, especially during school. I decided during my run that during that rough week I was not trusting God at all. I was looking every which way for answers or solutions that could make me feel better or feel peace inside. Well, as I am sure most of you know, that is the last thing you want to be doing when your trying to find peace. Looking past God and trying to fix things on your own only makes things worse.

I have realized more in the past couple days that if I just put my trust in God I will feel at peace. That means trusting in His will, His reasons, His timing, His presence in my life. It is such a good feeling to have peace within me. I know that God put me at here, so far away from home and Daniel, because he knew I could handle it. I am still trying to figure how to handle it. I do still have questions about my reasons why I am still at Trinity, why I am a business communication major, why this and why that, but I'm doing better about giving them to God. I am learning to be content with each day of my weeks and not just anticipating the weekends. (However, I do have some exciting weekends coming up! )

 I think, well hope, that God is teaching me this now so that I am ready for Ecuador. I hope that all the things I learn this semester prepares me just a little for next semester. I know that I won't ever be fully prepared, but I am praying that I can be prepared some what for what is going to hit me. I can't wait for Ecuador, I pray for it  during my runs.

*If someone could remind me to read this post when I am having a non-trusting moment I would appreciate that.
*Also, if anyone has anything to add, please post a response.